JUST ADDED! Send an
email to televictim
@hotmail.com if you
would like a black shirt
design created.
The generic, simple
look communicates.
Minimalism. No
attention lost to color or
design. The message
goes straight to the
brain, and at Funny
JesusPokerShirts it's
all about the message!
CUSTOMISE! Send a
detailed email to
televictim@hotmail.com
to customise your
order (blank shirt back,
two designs on a shirt,
smaller design...etc.).
I want to please your
ass. I'll create whatever
your ass wants.
Submit an original
statement for
potential financial gain
(that means money
from me to you). If I
like it, I'll pay (your
ass)! Write to
televictim@hotmail.com
sweatshirts, tasteless baby & dog clothes, offensive teddy bears, cynical caps, irreverent clocks, wacky
bags, insane stickers, bizarre mugs, nutty buttons, and strange coasters, and other twisted crap.
FunnyJesusPokerShirts is not affiliated with TastelessChristianHoldemCaps or
HumorousChristGamblingApparel. We are FunnyJesusPokerShirts, and we stand behind our name.
I half to fart; how's my driving?; strippers never lie (the truth costs money); strippers are hard on money; fart
club; I love to fart; i fart to love; old shul; strippers love me; i brake for honor students; John 3141592; liquor in the
front, poker in the back; people know me; Weed Canada; i brake for Jesus; Sudoku shirts; got cult?; bless me,
father, for i have bluffed; fuck yang; revenge stickers--bad driver; revenge stickers--cellphone asshole;
unavailable; unappreciated; famous; addicted; cult member; copyright
FANTASY BASEBALL SHIRTS
realist; doormat; legend; loser; champion; commish; fuck-up; fabulous; rookie; master; failure
STRIPPER SHIRTS
strippers never lie (the truth costs money); strippers love me; i saw, i conquered, i came; hell hath no fury like a
stripper scorned; unionize strippers; strippers are people too; stripping for charity; take a stripper home tonight;
strippers sell dreams; strippers know the price of love; lap dances are a sound investment; if i had balls i'd be a
stripper; i'd rather be stripping; strippers listen; strippers are hard on money; strippers accept tips; my priorities:
1. asian strippers, 2. others; my stripper priorities: 1. black, 2. latina, 3. asian, 4. blonde, 5. russian; i want a
stripper with balls; your stripper statement
WEIRD SHIRTS
strippers never lie (the truth costs money); if you smell something, say something; i half to fart; for a good time
call; i'm with child; I love to pee; your phone number; strippers love me; strippers are people too; I am spade or I
am spayed; fart club; I love to fart; i fart to love; don't look here, the joke's in your hand; i brake for honor
students; marriage cures happiness; fuck yang; f*** yang; I ate fish; faked own death; cheating death; better late
than pregnant; i'm proud of my legitimate son; fee $10?; lactose tolerant; don't mess with taxes; cult member;
got cult?; authorized to fart; licensed farter; don't get laid, get even; your face here; your name here;
heterophobe; deep fried; batter dipped; don't let them take away the laughter; humor moves product on the front,
product moves humor on the back; the revolution begins at home; televictim.com; your weird statement; time to
douche; time to lube
JESUS SHIRTS
i'm with Jesus; support Christian porn; Jesus is busy; old shul; John 3.141592; Jesus saves, but God gets the
win; bless me, father, for i have bluffed; i brake for Jesus; give us barabbas; Jesus is coming/Jesus is going;
Jesus is coming/Jesus is sleepy; Jesus is late; Jesus hates me; Jesus: the hardest working man in show
business; too many religions, not enough good gods; Jesus died for somebody's chips, but not mine; your Jesus
statement; time to crucify; countdown to Jesus; time to persecute; time to pray; time to suffer
POKER SHIRTS
don't look here, the joke's in your hand; liquor in the front, poker in the back; make hands, not war; bless me,
father, for i have bluffed; poker? i like my hand; suited pair; bad beat insured. call my bet?; dealers give good
hands; steal from the blind; any two will do; Jesus died for somebody's chips, but not mine; addicted; desperate;
tired; pissed; vulnerable; undiscovered; unknown; why ask why? or why question why?; your favorite hand; your
poker statement; time to gamble; time to poker; time for poker; time to whine; time to surrender; time to cry; time
to quit; time to scream; time to suffer; time to wince
FANTASY FOOTBALL SHIRTS
phenom; Be L.T.; hero; realist; doormat; legend; hall of fame; hall of shame; freak; loser; chump; champion;
commish; genius; fuck-up; fabulous; fat ass; rookie; fumbler; tragedy; fearless; fancy boy; playstation blue X;
green triangle; orange circle; pink square; your team name
WEIRD THONGS
brian's thong; insert here; ted's house; welcome; enter laughing; fun hole; your vagina's name; people know me;
strippers never lie; strippers are people too; strippers listen; stripping for charity; unionize strippers; i'd rather be
stripping; your face here; horny; desperate; available; don't bother; unsatisfied; fee: $10; i love to bone; liquor in
the front, poker in the back; old shul; IM4U ( i am for you); IMMT (i am empty); i ate fish
POP-CULTURE SHIRTS
old shul; fart club; my name is URL; free Charlie Sheen; people know me; Sudoku / Su Doku / SuDoku; between
iraq and a hard place; gas stinks; free gas now; copyright; expired; trendsetter; culture vulture; pundit; social
critic; trendy; television is furniture; pop goes the culture; cool, pop cool, uncool; Jesus died for somebody's
chips, but not mine; televictim.com; your pop-culture statement; hammer time; Bush countdown; time for art
REVENGE STICKERS
cellphone asshole; douche bag; asshole; bad driver; shitty driver; dumb ass; loser; liar; selfish; shit for brains;
shithead; dick; dick head; cocksucker; motherfucker; idiot; bad lay; rude; inconsiderate
MATING LABELS TO WEAR
people know me; rich; wealthy; attractive; good-looking; for a good time call; unavailable; future ex; your phone
number; famous; IM4U or I am for you; SWF=Straight White Female; SWM=Straight White Male; GBF=Gay Black
Female; BWM=Bi White Male; single; available; approachable; future widower; future widow; your name here;
your face; unknown; Sudoku or Su Doku or SuDoku; separated; divorced; unrecognized; undiscovered; good
sense of humor; trendsetter; trendy; culture vulture; copyright; IM plain or I am plane; heterophobe; widowed;
engaged; married; UR4I or You are for I or you are for me; hetero; was famous; don't bother; not gay; desperate;
high maintenance; nonsmoker; needy; used to be gay; happy; status seeker; social climber; bottom feeder;
codependent; smoker; your personal mating label on a shirt or product
EMOTIONAL LABELS TO WEAR
addicted; horny; desperate; pissed; unappreciated; vulnerable; insecure; needy; unmotivated; unsatisfied;
confused; annoyed; busy; tired; I love weed; content; happy; your emotion on a shirt or product
WEED WEAR
I love weed; Weed Canada; I Weed NY or I Weed New York; I Weed LA or I Weed Los Angeles; I Weed LV or I
Weed Las Vegas; I Weed SF or I Weed San Francisco; I Weed UK or I Weed the United Kingdom; I Weed DC or I
Weed District of Columbia or I Weed Washington, DC; smoker; happy; horny; unmotivated; tired; confused;
insecure; vulnerable; addicted; desperate; I Weed NO or I Weed New Orleans; I Weed NJ or I Weed New Jersey; I
Weed HI or I Weed Hawaii; I Weed CA or I Weed California; I Weed SD or I Weed San Diego; I Weed TX or I Weed
Texas; I Weed KC or I Weed Kansas City; I Weed TB or I Weed Tampa Bay; Your region; time to burn; time to get
high; time to party; time to medicate; time to smoke; time for drugs; time for pot; time for herb; time for crack;
time for weed; time for meds
CLUB WEAR
I Club SF or I Club San Francisco; I Club LA or I Club Los Angeles; I Club NY or I Club New York; I Club LV or I Club
Las Vegas; I Club UK or I Club the United Kingdom; I Club DC or I Club the District of Columbia or Washington, DC; I
Love 2 Club or I love to club; people know me; heterophobe; SWF=Straight White Female; SWM=Straight White
Male; GBF=Gay Black Female; BWM=Bi White Male; future ex; for a good time call; approachable; available; your
phone number; famous; IM4U or I am for you; UR4I or You are for I or you are for me; Sudoku or Su Doku or
SuDoku; horny; addicted; desperate; strippers never lie (the truth costs money); strippers love me; strippers are
people too; I Club NO or I Club New Orleans; I Club NJ or I Club New Jersey; I Club HI or I Club Hawaii; I Club SD or I
Club San Diego; I Club CA or I Club California; social climber; status seeker; undiscovered; hetero; culture vulture;
trendsetter; trendy; copyright; cool, pop cool, uncool; I Club TX or I Club Texas; I Club KC or I Club Kansas City; I
Club TB or I Club Tampa Bay; Your Region; time to party; time to rock
CLOCKS
time to masturbate; time to douche; time to waste; time for joanna; confusing; time to drink; time to fuck; time to
cum; time to fart; time to lube; time to menstruate; time to evacuate; time to smoke; time to gamble; time to get
high; time to burn; time to party; time to break; time to snap; time to crucify; hammer time; don't look here;
wasted time; don't look here; i toll for you; time marches on; Jesus is busy; Jesus is late; countdown to Jesus;
countdown to death; Bush countdown; minute closer to death; the end is near; down time; time for porn; time for
sex; time for drugs; time for pot; time for herb; time for weed; time for crack; time for booze; time for poker; time
for pussy; time for vagina; time for penis; time for meds; time for suicide; time for art; time to wince; time to
whine; time to squeal; time to fantasize; time to surrender; time to judge; time to delegate; time to wild; time to
persecute; time to complain; time to roll; time to fire; time to age; time to die; time to cry; time to resuscitate; time
to revolt; time to quit; time to pray; time to lose; time to kill; time to penetrate; time to medicate; time to suck; time
to shit; time to scream; time to rock; time to resent; time to rebel; time to hump; time to suffer; time to sell out;
time to regret; time to flounder; time to climax; time to swallow; time to poker; future ex; future widower; future
widow; liquor in the front, poker in the back; John 3.141592; old shul; better late than pregnant; people know me;
fart club; I love to fart; i fart to love; I half 2 fart or I have to fart; strippers love me; strippers are people too;
expiration; copyright; cheating death; addicted; unappreciated; unmotivated; horny; busy; available; was famous;
for a good time call; I love weed; Weed Canada; I Weed SF; I Weed NY; I Weed LA; I Club SF; I Club NY; I Club LA; I
Club LV; I Club UK
BUMPER STICKERS
how's my driving?; brake for honor students; i brake for Jesus; Sudoku puzzle; strippers never lie (the truth
costs money); I half 2 fart; i love to fart; i fart to love; people know me; old shul; fart club; my name is URL;
strippers love me; strippers are people too; John 3.141592; don't look here; I love weed; gas stinks; between iraq
and a hard place; future ex; approachable; single; available; divorced; separated; unavailable; undiscovered; your
name here; your face here; addicted; heterophobe; famous; Jesus saves, but God gets the win; Jesus is busy;
Jesus hates me; Jesus is late; expiration; copyright; got cult?; cult member; honk for the honkeys; honk if you
like my driving; honk once for Jesus, twice for Satan; I’m proud of my legitimate son; Weed Canada; I Weed NY; I
Weed SF; I Weed LA; I Weed CA; I Club NY; I Club SF; I Club LV; I Club UK; I Club LA; I Love to Club
SYMBOLIC MESSAGES
I love to fart; i fart to love; fart club; I am spade; I love to pee; I have to fart; I am radioactive; I am empty; I am for
you; You are for I or you are for me; why ask why? or why question why? I ate fish; I love money; I love weed; I ask
why or I question why; I am 4F; I am square; I love sex or I love six; I love to bone; I pound colon; I am plain or I am
plane; I envy you; you envy I or you envy me; I Love to Club
Do you have a gift shop or casino where televictim® merchandise would fly off the shelves? We can help
advise on the best sellers for your intended market, and can provide quantities large and small.
Licensing
In addition to wholesale and bulk orders, if you have your own merchandising production and distribution
capabilities, televictim® licenses its designs.
Customizing
If you are a cardroom, casino, or poker brand of any kind, consider making a televictim® poker design
customized with your logo. Our designs attract attention; why not let your brand share in it? Your poker
logo can accompany any televictim® design; we integrate the look to make the shirt fashionable, memorable,
and branded.
Custom designs
We at televictim® have our finger on the pulse of today’s culture. We provide targeted design services for
merchandise and more. With backgrounds in web, print, marketing, and product design, the televictim® team
stands at the ready to give your initiative its best look.
Contact televictim@hotmail.com for any and all inquiries.
You think it, we print it!
We can custom print your statement onto T-shirts, sweatshirts, caps, mugs, bags, stickers,
buttons, mousepads, thongs, clock faces, ...etc. In fact, we can custom print your statement,
design, photo,or slogan onto any product you see on our store. Custom T-shirts and gifts are a
great way of telling someone you don't need them, you don't care about them, you wish you
never met them, or even that you love them. Whatever you need to say, send a detailed email to
televictim@hotmail.com, describing your statement, design idea, and products to print on. We
will get back to you within 24 hours.
reserved.“televictim®" is a trademark of
televictim, Inc.
