Sure, this is a little dated, but I just found it on my hard drive.
weekend at mel and hutton's
Wow! I have so much to tell you about my great
weekend with Mel Gibson and his cool dad, Hutton!
They invited me to a hunting camp way out in the
woods of Idaho. At least, I think it's a hunting
camp--there were lots of guns and people wearing army camouflage.
I'd tell you more about the place, but I had to wear a blindfold
when I came in and out. Those guys are wack!
We did lots of fun stuff. They showed us an amazing movie about
Jesus. There's nothing that good on FOX, I'll tell you! It was kind
of bloody, and I couldn't understand much 'cause the film was in
some foreign language. But when some guys get nailed to a giant
frickin' cross, how much explanation do you need?
After the movie, we sat around the campfire and
talked. We had Jack Daniels and barbecue pork for
dinner. Yum! Mel and Hutton kept talking about
Jews...Jews this, Jews that. I thought Jews
were those goofy people in banged-up minivans on
the Thruway, but Mel and Hutton say they're up to
no good--for example, killing Jesus (gross!) and
sacrificing Catholic kids for blood rituals. Hello?
Then Hutton got into this whole thing about the "Holocaust,"
whatever that is. He said people had the wrong idea. It was really
just a "special retreat" for Jews. Pretty nice, huh? Hutton said no
matter what people say, the Germans were extra nice to those
Jews--'cause they controlled world banking, international currency,
that kind of stuff. Those German sleep-away camps sound like fun!
Kinda makes you wish you were a Jew, doesn't it?
Hutton even played us music, a bunch of loud stuff
by some old German guy, Richard Wagner. It didn't
do anything for me, but those Dick Wagner tunes got
everybody so excited. Later Hutton played a speech
by some guy named Joe Lieberman. Bore-ING! But when
they played it backwards, you could hear him whisper,
Kill Christian babies. Kill Christian babies." Jeez,
that Lieberman must be sick in the head!
Well, my fun weekend with Mel Gibson was over way too quick. But
the next one's gonna be even better. Mel and Hutton said they'd
invite some real life Jews to camp to join us in target practice. I
can't wait!
--Peter
--p.d., televictim.com
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